you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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