Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
