IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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