question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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