One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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