No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
