Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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