I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
