Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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