under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
