I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
