i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
