Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
