Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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