there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
