Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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