Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
