just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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