You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
