Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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