I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
