well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
