her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
