clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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