she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
