if you like me you must not know who I am
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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