Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize