remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
