her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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