So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
