ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize