I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
