i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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