did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
