Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
