My nipple is on Facebook.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
