Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
