Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
