She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
