Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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