do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize