She announced her abortion via fbk
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
