I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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