I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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