That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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