Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
