WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
