the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize