i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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