would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
