I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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