I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
not ubering you a puppy
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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