Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
