So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
