u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Randomize
