A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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