Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
