MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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