we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
