I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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