i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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