I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
